(OK -- ALL of the time)...
It is sososo hard to be the parent
of a child with a FOOD ALLERGY.
Constant worrrrrry.
Worry.
WORRY
!
What's safe?
Is that truly a risk...?
or am I letting my heart...
run away from my head?
Heart.
Head.
Heart.
Head.
?
In the end, I can never really
separate my head from my heart,
For as my daughter's protector...
as my daughter's advocate...
as the last line of defense...
the Responsibility is mine.
And now, we've added OIT
(Oral Immunotherapy -- supported with Xolair)...
We're up to 2000 mg of peanut
That's 8 peanuts
(worth of peanut flour, in a prescription bottle...)
No MORE.
NO (less).
Shaking hands.
EVERY, every time I measure.
2015 is likely to bring
Tremendous
CHALLENGE.
January 27, 2015
Peanut Challenge to 4000 mg
(and -- then -- freedom?)
freedom from meticulously measured peanut-flour doses...
Yes.
And on to
A Snicker's Bar for breakfast.
(freedom?)
Indulgence
(Yum!?)
(false sense of) security?
Ummmm...I THINK so.
January 27, 2015
Peanut Challenge to 4000 mg
(and -- then -- freedom?)
freedom from meticulously measured peanut-flour doses...
Yes.
Freedom from a peanut allergy?
NO. Not so much.
Freedom from Epi-Pens?
No.
NEVER.
what else will be?
A Snicker's Bar AND a peanut?
(we'll never know)
A Snicker's Bar AND a movie theater?
(I suppose we'll test that out...)
A Snicker's Bar AND an airplane
filled with recirculated air...
...and peanut dust...
...and who knows what else?
(I suppose...just maybe...we'll test that out. MAYBE.)
but only over land
For what if it is NOT safe?
2000 mg of peanut.
Safer now, for sure.
Right?
(I suppose.)
But what of that episode of vomiting?
The stray and random hives?
The occasional extreme fatigue?
Safer?
yes, maybe.
Cured.
No!
Sorry.
Not yet.
(NO WAY, NO HOW).
So far...and yet, so far still to go.
Thankful.
Yes.
YES!
Beyond words.
Afraid of the future...
afraid of the uncertainty of the freedom?
Yes.
YES!
Beyond words.
More than ever, if that's possible.