She's Afraid

She's concerned.
Worried.
Scared.
Afraid.

And I can only imagine what else...

Stressed?
Anxious?

How do I know this?  In all of her years of wearing Epi-Pens in fanny packs and then carrying them in her purse, Susan has NEVER, ever slept with them.  Friday night, for the first time ever, she did.  

I sent this picture to a small group of friends who are supporting Susan (and us) through this experience, with a short text message, explaining the significance.

A dear friend (who is also a social worker) observed that what Susan was doing was "situationally normal."  By sleeping with her Epi-Pens right next to her, she was (at least hopefully) gaining a sense of control and doing something that made her feel (more?) safe.  OF COURSE.

And, while I was deeply saddened to see Susan's Epi-Pens right there next to her -- because it proved beyond anything she has ever actually voiced that this journey is frightening -- I cling to my friend's descriptor:  "resilient.

And I have added a few descriptors of my own:  

Resolute.
Determined.
Brave.
Incredibly, undeniably brave.