Teachers at Susan's school will no doubt recognize this sign, as it hangs in the seventh grade science hall.
The comment stuck with me, and as I was driving Susan -- who tolerated that very approximate dose -- to school, it struck me -- The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.
I thought about that...
And then, I decided that Susan's developing sense of humor might really appreciate it.
One could certainly argue that it is.
And yet, in life, we often talk about those who do incredible things as having "insane" schedules or commitment or will -- athletes who get up at 4:00 am to practice, or run, or study...(or skate), attorneys who put together incredibly articulate, organized arguments (because they pulled multiple all-nighters)...an individual who lifts an automobile or other equally large, heavy object off another in a crisis...
Is the effort to find a treatment for Susan's peanut allergy any different?
(Perhaps Herculean efforts are needed...)
We have always known that Susan's peanut allergy is very severe --
Now, while Susan's story is sobering, she isn't the outlier she once was.
While I wish it weren't so for the countless children who live in fear not of the allergen they eat but of the allergen they cannot see -- the invisible danger that lurks on doorknobs, seat cushions, tables and desks...any public space -- the number of children walking this path of fear grows daily.
I remember clearly being told that it was "impossible" that her gastrointestinal symptoms -- in addition to the intense fatigue, red and angry skin, moodiness and crusty yucky eyes...were related to her peanut dose.
Susan is still an outlier.
As a dear friend would say, she is still a zebra in a medical setting where it is much better to be a plain old horse.
So, while we have been told that a minute variance in how much peanut protein is in Susan's daily dose should not matter, experience suggests otherwise.
We are posed to do something incredible tomorrow.
Just 72 hours after experiencing anaphylaxis to her 2000 mg dose (8 1/2 Peanut M & M's), Susan is going to take that same dose -- and hope (expect?) to tolerate it.
I have a beautiful half...
But in reality, nothing has changed, and yet we are expecting (hoping for) a different result.